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  I'd like my computer to go faster than the speed of light can anyone help? 
 
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Kittymuncher May 05, 2003, 08:35pm EDT Reply - Quote - Report Abuse
Private Message - Add to Buddy List Replies: 6 - Views: 391


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ray Stephens May 05, 2003, 09:07pm EDT Reply - Quote - Report Abuse
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>> Re: I'd like my computer to go faster than the speed of light can anyone help?
Sure, just right down your hardware specs!

ant decto May 05, 2003, 09:13pm EDT Reply - Quote - Report Abuse
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>> Re: I'd like my computer to go faster than the speed of light can anyone help?
Kitty,

Not sure about the speed of light but I know how to make it accelerate at 9.81 ms^-2. You just need somewhere High.

Regards
AD

System in Bio
Luke Mertens May 17, 2003, 07:12pm EDT Reply - Quote - Report Abuse
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>> Re: I'd like my computer to go faster than the speed of light can anyone help?
To get your computer to go faster than the speed of light with current technology you first need to shrink your computer to the size of a sub atomic partical or somewhere around that size since that is the largest size object we are capable of accelerating that fast.

buckminster futt May 17, 2003, 08:01pm EDT Reply - Quote - Report Abuse
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>> Re: I'd like my computer to go faster than the speed of light can anyone help?
No problem, dude. You use a time machine to go way into the future and bring back the FTL hardware ya need. Easy, huh?

buck

Kittymuncher May 18, 2003, 07:20am EDT Reply - Quote - Report Abuse
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>> Re: I'd like my computer to go faster than the speed of light can anyone help?
No offence Big L but that seems a little unreasonable, I think i'll just Bucks idea and use a time machine:)

buckminster futt May 18, 2003, 11:56pm EDT Reply - Quote - Report Abuse
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>> traveling to the future for that spiffy FTL hardware
Hey folks,

Just got back from traveling to the 29th and ahalf Century in that time machine. You should see the hardware I picked up at Fry's! I decided to go to the original one in Silcon Valley. It was kinda weird being in a ghost town. Everybody left the Valley when all the engineering work was completely outsourced to the slave geeks held captive in the ice caves on Titan. Those dude have to work 24/7 just to get enuff oxygen to survive so there are no jobs left on Earth at all. The Valley is now populated with zombie marketing guys having meetings, doing deals and setting up strategic alliances for absolutely nothing. They don't notice any difference in the results of their efforts compared to now so they are happy.

Nothing has changed at Fry's though. I was the only customer in the entire 13 sq mile store and all the sales droids were still too busy to notice me. I even had to return the stuff twice before I got everything working so its still just like in the 21st Century. but hey Fry's has got the best prices in town and the Togo's is sill right across the street so who cares, right?

So I picked up that FTL computer we were talking about and its totally bitchin'!! It's got the hot new Intel superluminal CPU that uses 'spooky action at a distance' for instruction and data prefetches. Of course a minor processor bug showed up. The hardware is so fast it violates causality so ya gotta be careful with some of its Turing functions. I also got the new infinitely density storage subsystem that uses a micron sized black hole rotating faster than light as the data sink. That thing will be so cool as soon as they figure out how to get the data out. So for the near future its a write only device that is a a perfect match for the superluminal CPU. It runs linux and the only programming tool is my personal favorite, Perl, of course. Statues of Larry Wall are all over the Valley. And his one liner programming parables are quoted constantly by all the engineers and applied religiously just as they ought to be.

With the infinitely fast processor and the black hole storage unit I have been running some new Cadence EDA software. These cool behavior level simulators that allow me to replay quantum level behavior of every atomic particle in the universe since the Big Bang. As soon as I get one I like better than this hosed up version of reality, you are gonna see Pinky and the Brain take over the world. They will undoubtedly do a much better job than we did. Better get used to singing that stupid theme song of theirs all the time folks.

best regards,

buckminster futt - simulator of the universe





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